Time for a reality check - Drinking from the Fire Hose — LiveJournal
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Drinking from the Fire Hose
and trying not to drown

Date: 2008-01-14 20:35
Subject: Time for a reality check
Security: Public
Location:Home and on my corner of the couch
I've been watching Dr. Phil again. Tonight's show involved a three person blended family, a mother, her 17-year-old son, and the mother's current husband. Dr. Phil called his own wife up on stage and asked her what she thought of the mother's behavior. She claims to have never so much as raised her voice to her children, nor called them anything but her precious, wonderful boys. I was incredulous. In my crazy-quilt of a family, shouting was common between me and three of four of my mothers; however I am also aware that dysfunctional is probably the kindest description that can be applied to us. Is my experience the norm, or is Dr. Phil's family? Hence, a poll...

Poll #1121356 Reality Check

Has your mother ever shouted at you in anger?

Heck yes, verbal fights have always been common in my family.
Oh yeah, mostly during my teens and early twenties
No, not that I can recall.
Absolutely not. My mother never said an unkind word nor raised her voice.
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Jackie/JJ - I don't do Happily Ever After
User: jackiesjunkie
Date: 2008-01-15 01:59 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
My mom isn't the type to shout. She'll raise her voice if you're across the house but she's got a look that can kill when you're in trouble so yelling wasn't needed.
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User: peach1250
Date: 2008-01-15 02:00 (UTC)
Subject: I put yes
because of the spirit of the question. My mother didn't yell much but her quiet cold voice was worse than any yelling.
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User: jim_landis
Date: 2008-01-15 02:02 (UTC)
Subject: Anger Poll
1 option is missing - childhood/preteen... In general, after that I knew how to stay under the radar.
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User: maddiec24
Date: 2008-01-15 02:18 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
None of the choices fit me. Mom yelled sometimes when we were kids, and while she got angry during the time we lived here, she never really yelled, but I could tell when she was angry.

BTW, did my e-mail show up? The first one was returned, so I re-sent it. I just saw what I typed - - resent - - and it made it sound like I was angry at the message. Hence, the hyphen. Yeah, I'm going to bed soon. *g*
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Ursula4x: You knew the job was dangerous when
User: ursula4x
Date: 2008-01-15 03:07 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:You knew the job was dangerous when
Raised by an alcoholic and depressed/angry/PTSD Dad who was legally deaf and a mood swinging domestic violence victim who physically and mentally abused her children....We put the dys in dysfunctional.
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betagoddess: AddictedToLJ
User: betagoddess
Date: 2008-01-15 04:18 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)

None of the choices fit me, either. Mum would yell at Dad, but almost never at us.

She wasn't always calm, but she DID raise her voice at times.

Now Dad was a different story. HE got mad and shouted a lot! Used corporal punishment a few times, too. Not fun.

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we laughing sinners: good omens
User: auberus
Date: 2008-01-15 05:29 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:good omens
My mother did yell -- but she yelled about the important things, and when she did it I knew that I'd pressed my luck as far as it would go. There was also a lot of yelling when I first came out, but she got over it, and now that I'm older, though, we tend to have what my father calls 'extremely loud debates' - and they're mostly about politics.
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User: bloggingchick
Date: 2008-01-15 05:36 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
There is also the silent treatment which I've gotten for months at a time in which she wouldn't even acknowledge my existence (unless I apologized for her obnoxious comments/behavior). I am probably getting it now, but I am not entirely certain...yet.
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User: lolabobs
Date: 2008-01-15 07:55 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
When we were children we all shouted, but mainly the shouting was between my brothers and me - since, well pretty much since I hit teenhood Mum hasn't shouted at me (Or I her!). And we never argue now - at most there's a few exasperated comments and sighs, but 99.9% it's about abstract stuff, so we just move on from it, 'cos t's unimportant.

(Consequently I'm quite uncomfortable with confrontation, and avoid it wherever possible - which in the main means I'm a peacekeeper and pacifist, but occasionally leads to passive aggressive behaviour)
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User: only4severus
Date: 2008-01-15 19:39 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
With us (my mother and me, that was all) there was either a big verbal fight or silence. Total silence. It was always that way and when I was little my grandmother and her were having their fights over my head too.

Needless to say we grew apart..

Now I have my own kids.. we do have shout outs BUT they stop and we make up. Usually we apologize and explain/talk about it later. Normally it comes down to us being tired or stressed. Not a good way but in my eyes quite 'normal' (read human)

Oh I voted heck yes.
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User: greenlady2
Date: 2008-01-17 07:26 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Sorry to get to this poll so late.

Mom didn't shout a lot, but it happened once in a while. The same with my Dad. They never called us names, though. And though we got spanked every so often, they didn't slap us, or use belts or things like that.

But as for calling us their 'precious, wonderful' kids? Bleah! How revolting. Thank God they didn't. I think that would be more traumatic than being yelled at. :-)))
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