One of my goals for the year has been to consume all of the various foodstuffs filling our pantry shelves to overflowing. The shelves are still far too full, but I have made progress. Last week I pulled out the bag of seitan that's alternated between taunting and frightening me for the past year. I recall buying it during one of my many failed attempts at improving my diet, but as usual I was too lazy and/or too chicken to actually cook the stuff. (Five a day? Yeah right. Five a week -- if I'm being particularly conscientious.)

Anyway, I pulled the bag of seitan down and, just as I remembered, there was a recipe for Faux BBQ on the back. Which jebra kindly cooked up for me. (Not that I couldn't have done it -- soak the seitan in water for five minutes, drain off the excess, add a bottle and a half of your favorite BBQ sauce and let cook in a slow cooker for about 4 hours). The resulting mixture was edible. I wouldn't call it good, but being as cheap as I am, I couldn't bring myself to throw it out or even to add it to the compost bin. I've been dutifully consuming the stuff, and brought the last serving to work this morning.

Happily, the BBQ improves (somewhat) with age. On the other hand, while I was in the midst of my meal, the UPS delivery arrived, and, being me, I couldn't resist opening the packages to see what was in them. One of the packages contained a UPS (which we will be delivering to my mother's house tonight) and a lot of static-laden packing materials. A part of a piece of "popcorn" was stuck to the side of my hand when I sat down to finish my lunch and I wondered what would happen if it fell off and into my bowl. Would I notice? Would it taste better? I decided not to find out and shook the piece off and into the trash. But I still wonder.