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Forward from email - Drinking from the Fire Hose — LiveJournal
and trying not to drown

Date: 2008-09-13 15:25
Subject: Forward from email
Security: Public
Location:Home and on my corner of the couch
Music:Nothing but fans
I have a cousin who keeps sending me joke email. Being a cousin, I can't just send his stuff directly into oblivion, I have to look at first to make sure it isn't anything useful as regards family goings-on, history, etc. And, occasionally (very occasionally), the messages are actually funny. This one isn't so much funny as vaguely amusing and horrifically accurate.

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. As I start toward the garage; I notice mail on the table that I collected from the letter box earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the rubbish bin under the table, and notice that it is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the rubbish first. But then I think, since I'm going to be near the post-box when I take out the rubbish anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my Cheque book off the table, and see that there is only 1 Cheque left. My extra cheques are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking. I'm going to look for my cheques, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. The Coke is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the fridge to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the worktop catches my eye - they need water. I put the Coke on the worktop and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the work top, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote control. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote control, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote control back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:- the car isn't washed - the bills aren't paid - there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the worktop - the flowers don't have enough water - there is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book - I can't find the remote control - I can't find my glasses - and I don't remember what I did with the car keys. Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day, and I'm really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

Do me a favour. Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't remember who the hell I've sent it to. Don't laugh - if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!

Only please don't sent to everyone you know as either my cousin already did, or they've already read it here on LJ.
Post A Comment | 7 Comments | | Link

User: fanfromfla
Date: 2008-09-13 22:02 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
OMG, that's perfect! I'm afflicted! LOL
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User: bloggingchick
Date: 2008-09-13 23:33 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:sane by isis2015
OMG that explains things!
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User: greenlady2
Date: 2008-09-19 07:03 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Why did this sound vaguely familiar? Wait a minute, I have to wash the dishes. Be right back...................
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User: mbumby
Date: 2008-09-22 00:28 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
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User: peach1250
Date: 2008-09-28 22:14 (UTC)
Subject: I hate to say this
But that actually sounds a bit like a tweaker...:-)
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User: mrs_sweetpeach
Date: 2008-09-29 00:58 (UTC)
Subject: Re: I hate to say this
Hmmm. I thought tweakers were known for excessive energy and for taking things apart (things like radios and other electronics). But the only tweakers I've encountered were on tv, so I could easily not know what I'm talking about.

As for me, I'm attributing my distractability to increasing age and my reoccurring problems with getting enough sleep.
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User: peach1250
Date: 2008-09-30 17:18 (UTC)
Subject: Re: I hate to say this
Well they sometimes do that too. It all depends on what stage and how much they have done. I knew one woman who when she was like that could spend days playing the same video game, only stopping to get water and pee.

Being sleep deprived has much in common with using meth.
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